Dependent Origination

2013.08

Posted on: September 3, 2013

August is better than expectation. Work is a bit mad, but that is only after i volunteered to help a colleague, since i have observed stress from him. I almost thought I couldn’t finish what i promised to deliver for him the day before long weekend. And was secretly thinking if i didn’t volunteer i wouldn’t have so much stress before the long weekend. Good thing is everything worked fine, finished earlier than I thought. So all ends well.

August began with a disappointment, which even the hubby had to deal with it. It was the first time that I saw he behaved like he had something to work with in terms of managing expectations. You can really see that repeated disappointments do take their toll upon people’s mental state. That is a bit sad but true. No one can be a forever spring of optimism, at least in a short amount of time. Some people can recover. Others don’t. Resilience is a precious quality to have, and I heard it is in the genes.

My then-only session with Buddhism 101 ended well. I hope they realized the greatness of the material 🙂 Teaching is a talent business. Either you have it or you don’t. You might still end up being a good teacher even, but never a great one. Never a teacher that inspires your audience. I had great materials and ideas that I wanted to get across and I hope I did justice to them. Otherwise it wouldn’t be so good a karma as it should be 🙂

That same weekend my college classmate sent a wechat message announcing to the class that she was visiting the bay area and meeting up with another classmate who recently moved to the bay area due to company acquisition by yahoo and she welcomed everyone to join it. I didn’t reply after I saw it. I have no problem meeting up her but I don’t exactly want to meet up with the other one, who a few weeks before the acquisition became news, tried to manipulate me to stay in my house apparently for the following months. I let her stay the night despite the manipulation but refused her further manipulation trying to stay continuously in the future. I thought about replying on Monday saying aiya I didn’t see the message until now and therefore excused myself from the meeting. I decided against it since that makes me becoming the bitch who I try to avoid contact. I felt good that weekend — by this age I think I deserve to enjoy myself and stay away from people or things that I don’t like — and I felt good because I hold up my own rule. That was a really relaxing weekend 🙂

My interest in stock market is really up high recently. I have been selling my holdings lately and so far the portfolio actually grew over the month of August despite the decline of indices. Might be first time I have beaten an index, for god’s sake! 🙂 But we shall see if anything I am doing right is repeatable for September/October, which should be the most interesting months for stock market this year. Wish me luck 🙂

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3 Responses to "2013.08"

Resilience is in the genes? That’s kind of sad. 特别喜欢 gone with wind 里面的 Scarlett. 但是似乎读书学习努力提高自己有什么用呢?好像一切都是注定好了的。

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/30/magazine/30abuse.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 a study about why some children victim of sexual abuse do not bear significant health or emotional problems in their adult lives — about 40% of the victims can pull themselves through life relatively successfully — while the other 60% fell apart (drugs, addictions, depression, alone etc) in their adult lives

on the other hand, within the range a gene specifies, you can still control its expression level — in a sense you can control in a range of standard deviations from the median — but that range is specified by gene — at least that is what i understand — hoho — a lot can be done and learnt so all is changeable 🙂

“the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree”. 随着年龄的增长,人生阅历的丰富,越来越觉得太多的事情都是命. There must be another gene making me think this way 🙂
That’s an interesting artical. You always have good reads.

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